GENERATION GRIFFEY: RANKFEST - The Ultimate 90s Dude Countdown (90 Columns Ranking What Made Us Legendary)

Let’s start with a quick Q&A: 

What is a rankfest? 

It’s a festival of ranking things in book form. Obviously. Also, I made it up. In this case, we’re ranking 90 of our favorite 90s things across 10 categories:

Commercials, Comedies & Comedians, College, Television, Sports & Action Movies, Food, Gear, Personalities, Video Games, Athletes 

Why ‘Generation Griffey’?

First, it’s a great name. We’ve got alliteration, ‘generation’ and the quintessential athlete from that era: Ken Griffey Jr… Junior is the perfect person to define the era of late 80s and 90s kids because the apex of his career matches our childhood perfectly. From the day he entered the Mariner’s lineup in 1989 through the next decade, nobody typified 90s style (the backwards hat), 90s swagger (the swing, the smile, the commercials) and 90s coolness (the kicks, the cameos, the crossover stardom) like Griffey.

His reign at the top of the sports/celebrity pyramid (with Jordan) from his rookie year in Seattle to when he joined the Reds in 2000 is the perfect bookend for all of us who grew up around the last decade of the last century. 

See, Generation Griffey is a spectacular name for this book.

What Are We Ranking?

Everything. Well, not everything, but the 90 most nostalgic things that make us dudes smile all these years later: the movies we quoted, the athletes we loved, the cards we collected, the foods we ate, the shows we watched and more. All of it. 

How Are We Ranking Things?

Glad you asked. If we were just ranking a list of similar items (movies, athletes, foods, etc…) it’s easy. We create several categories, assign them an objective number based on how we evaluated them in that area and… boom… we’ve got a ranking

However, in this book we're doing a countdown of everything, which means we’re putting things up against each other that have no common traits (like, let’s say, Hot Pockets, Barry Sanders and Saved By the Bell) . In this case, we need a much looser ratings system that can encompass everything without using an actual concrete number.

After careful consideration, these are the three categories I used as my baseline when considering how I rank every 90s thing:

1) Hold-Up-Ability: Does this thing hold up today? This is a simple question we all ask ourselves when we rewatch a movie or try a food we used to like or watch highlights from thirty years ago: Does this hold up? Do I still like it? Is it still bad ass?

Also, has our collective enjoyment of this person or thing diminished over time because of external factors like technology or a sport changing or culture changing or humor being different or anything like that? That’s a secondary thing to consider.

2) Take You Backness: How much does this take you back? This is perhaps the most important category. When you think of this thing/person, are you instantly transported to the 90s? Do you get that same feeling? Does it put a smile on your face? Do you instinctively nod? If ‘yes’ to all three then we are at peak “take you backness”.

3) Modern Influence & Relevance: How much did you quote, mimic, copy, or use this thing back in the day AND does this thing still matter in today’s culture? Some things/people had their moment and disappeared; others stand the test of time. The more often that something on this list is still referenced or referred to today, the more weight I’ll give that thing in my final consideration.

After coming up with a master list of a few hundred nineties things, I used the categories I mentioned earlier to rank the top 90 overall. I have no doubt you’ll find something I egregiously left off and that you’ll want to revoke my 90s card for putting something on. 

I’m a big boy, I can take disagreements. When you’re done reading, you can hit me on social media (@Jon_Finkel) for Twitter/X and Instagram and let me know where I nailed it and where I blew it.

Got it? Good. Let’s go.

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PUB DATE: 12/18/24